Cool heavy droplets
Fall upon her lashes
And penetrate her delicate skin.
The icy water numbs her body
And drowns out her entire world.
She tries to escape every pain
That's forever plagued her life.
Yearning to be consumed by the rain;
Her senses numbed and overtaken.
She can't tell the water
From her burning tears.
She holds her body desperately
As though her soul could abandon her
And convulsively
Falls to her knees.
Her screams, muted by thunder,
Tear into the sky:
My life is over.
And no one knows.
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Author's Comments
Not sure what I think of this piece.. I worked on the imagery and feeling a bit. Tried to make you see and feel what's going on.. probably could make it a bit better.
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Comments
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*_x-Remember Every Moment-x_*
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I tear my heart open. I sew myself shut. My weakness is, that I care too much. And my scars remind me, that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel.
Good job still!
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My Poems | 25 words of Inspiration | My Prose
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I tear my heart open. I sew myself shut. My weakness is, that I care too much. And my scars remind me, that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel.
Make use of things like metaphors, similes, alliteration and onomatopoeia. Simple literary devices, yet very powerful when used right, especially metaphors.
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My Poems | 25 words of Inspiration | My Prose
--
I tear my heart open. I sew myself shut. My weakness is, that I care too much. And my scars remind me, that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel.
--
My Poems | 25 words of Inspiration | My Prose
--
I tear my heart open. I sew myself shut. My weakness is, that I care too much. And my scars remind me, that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel.
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