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Save me by ~SouLXposed:iconSouLXposed:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Exponential longing
Concentrating the storm
Within a damaged soul.
Tearing apart the uneven ground
Leaving only darkness to fall into.
Not knowing where to reach
Or who to try to hold onto.

Please, don't let me crash.
I'm falling quickly,
Almost out of reach.
I'm losing myself
At the hands of disease.

Depression is destroying;
Taking control
Of my ever weakening mind.
It's altering my mindset,
My feelings, my temptations..

The high of hunger
Becomes a demanding crave.
I start to desire more and more
The strength to defeat sustinance.
I won't rely on anything.

It leads me to flirt with destruction.
First my body, then my friendships.
Friends don't deserve such confusion.
I can't rely on them.
I won't let them miss me
When depression completely
Consumes me.

Rocking back and forth
Swaying, the only thing I can think of.
My mind is numb,
Repelling any thought or emotion.
I'm lost within myself.

Please, find me in this darkness.
©2009 ~SouLXposed
:iconsoulxposed:

Author's Comments

I'm actually a little proud of this piece.. I'm definitely looking to improve it, I'm not sure how well the transitions worked. But I'm finding it very interesting to portray the different aspects of depression.

Comments


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:iconlabruyere:
~LaBruyere Jun 30, 2009, 2:43:29 PM
Nicely done.
Prayin' for you.

--
\m/ ( >.< ) \m/

Throw up ya rock fist!
:iconsoulxposed:
~SouLXposed Jun 30, 2009, 7:07:40 PM
thank you

--
I tear my heart open. I sew myself shut. My weakness is, that I care too much. And my scars remind me, that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel.
:iconwaiting4wings:
~waiting4wings Jul 1, 2009, 10:53:26 AM
Great job!

There is an awkward section:

Leaving only darkness to fall into.
Not knowing where to reach
Or who to try to hold onto.

The "fall into" part doesn't quite scan, I don't think it's worth it to try and rhyme with the "hold onto" part.

Please, don't let me crash.
I'm falling quickly,
Almost out of reach.
I'm losing myself
At the hands of disease.

I love it. Jeez, all of your poems work as a little section.

But, god, Caitlin...:cling: I hope you know that whether or not you try and pry yourself away from our group of friends, we'll never let you go. I'm going to try and call you tonight, okay?

--
And that's all I have to say about that.
:iconsoulxposed:
~SouLXposed Jul 1, 2009, 5:43:59 PM
Hah. I didn't actually try to rhyme.. I think that I just forgot to go back to find a better way to phrase it. I'll edit it soon. but thatnk you.

Thanks wings.. that means a lot :hug: You guys mean so much to me. Sucks that you're not seeming to be on facebook anymore :shakefist: ...except you ARE!!! :dance:

--
I tear my heart open. I sew myself shut. My weakness is, that I care too much. And my scars remind me, that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel.
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